The Desperate State of Marriage and Family

The state of marriage and family in America today has reached a desperate situation. The institution of marriage is under a heavy attack. The divorce rate for new marriages is out of control. The definition of marriage has been wavering under pressure to consider “alternative forms” of marriage. And with the weakening situation of marriage, families and children are suffering.

Basically, marriage, once the cornerstone of American society, is today a bruised and battered institution. With divorce rates near fifty percent and only a small fraction of homes consisting of a man, woman and child(ren) -- younger generations are growing up in what experts call a "culture of divorce."

One view point is that since marriage is in such terrible shambles, why don’t we just redefine what marriage actually is so that it conforms better to the nature of our culture. The other view point is to stand firm on the original definition of marriage as defined by the Bible.

What is the answer to this dilemma? Can we save the institution of marriage? Can we preserve the cornerstone of our culture, the “American Family,” or is it just a thing of the past? What can we do?

Many people in America believe there is a very clear cut answer. And that is to go back to the origins of marriage and family and discover what the Creator intended when he said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24).

Jesus himself reiterated the point when he said, "But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. "FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH” (Mark 10:6-8).

Does the Bible have the answer to the problems we are faced with in American society today? A lot of people feel that the Bible and “religion” are too restrictive and narrow minded. They feel that we need to break away from old fashioned traditions and be free to do as we please. Instead of holding to the old ways of doing things we need to reinvent relationships; man to woman, parent to child, man to man, woman to woman, etc.

As our culture espouses new interpretations for relationships in our world today, I guess I have to ask the age old question, “Well…how’s that working for you?”

The honest answer to that question is, “Not very good!” Yes, the divorce rate is out of control, but what are the alternatives. Cohabitation, living together out of wedlock is on the increase. Does that work better? Are people happier because they live together without any kind of commitment? Many polls have been taken between cohabiting couples and married couples and time and again the married couples are happier in their relationship than the cohabiting couples.

And what about the children? Children of divorce find themselves torn between two families, or worse yet abandoned by one of their parents. The psychological pain they endure has long range repercussions. Children of divorce or cohabiting households have more difficulty in school, they suffer more financially, and are more prone to get involved in vandalism and crime. One researcher stated, “Research has shown consistently that both divorce and unmarried childbearing increase child poverty. In recent years the majority of children who grow up outside of married families have experienced at least one year of dire poverty” (Mark R. Rank and Thomas A. Hirschl, “The Economic Risk of Childhood in America: Estimating the Probability of Poverty Across the Formative Years,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 61:1058-1067, 1999.)

The results of divorce, cohabitation and redefined relationships have a major impact on the culture as a whole. The entire nation suffers economically, spiritually, and morally, because of these circumstances. A new definition for marriage isn’t the solution to this problem. And turning our back on the situation isn’t going to make things better. Many people say, “Just let people do what feels right for them, and it will all eventually work out.” No, that doesn’t seem to be working either.

We (that is mankind) need guidance, direction and help. People of faith believe that returning to the “Manufacturer’s Manual” is the best place to begin to learn, or relearn, how things like marriage and family are supposed to work. God has given us clear instruction in the Bible, not to restrict us, or make us unhappy, but to show how to live this life in a way that helps us to enjoy life to the fullest.

Beginning on Sunday, March 30^th, the Baker City Christian Church is going to begin a series of messages entitled “Desperate Households.” In this series we will be looking at the original “Instruction Booklet” on marriage and how to raise a family. If you are having marital problems, family conflict, or confusion in how to be a good parent, come and see what God’s Word has to say about these topics. You just might find out that the Bible has some very contemporary answers to the problems of the day.

That same week we will also begin a Sunday School class addressing the issues of Family Life. Hopefully in these classes we can begin to dialogue and address the problems, concerns and issues that you are dealing with on a day to day basis.

Marriage and family is in a desperate state of affairs today, it is true, but the answers for resolving these issues can be found if we will just take the time to look for them. Open your Bible today and seek out the answers to a strong marriage and parenting. Go to church this Sunday, and begin discovering the power that is available to guide us all in the direction we need to go in order to be good husbands and wives, mothers and fathers.